A divorce is one of the most stressful experiences in a person’s life. It is especially more challenging when children are involved. Keeping your behavior in check and doing what’s best for them is often difficult, but it is necessary.
While you may not have been able to save your marriage, you still have an opportunity to foster a loving and healthy bond with your children that lasts a lifetime. However, many parents unintentionally hurt their kids.
The following are several things you must not do to your children during divorce:
- Have your children “in the middle” of the divorce. Do not expect your children to handle adult conversations, especially if they are not teenagers nearly entering adulthood. To take a step further, do not let your kids become your own personal private detective or spy since it violates the trust of one, if not both, parents.
- Put the other parent down in front of the children. It is never a good idea to talk negatively about the other parent in front of the kids. Not only does it not allow your children to defend the other parent (because you will most likely get upset), it also makes them uncomfortable.
- Pit them against the other parent. If children are forced to choose sides, it can make co-parenting a complicated and difficult task and make the children feel guilty.
- Comfort you in your pain and loneliness over the divorce. Having your children as your main source of emotional support is not healthy for them. It is not their place to comfort you; rather, you should be the one comforting them throughout the divorce process.
When it comes to your kids, you must always be selfless. You might be divorce and in the process of moving on with your life, but your children will always be connected to you and your ex-spouse. If you are guilty of doing any of the actions mentioned above, you need to ask yourself, “What am I thinking?”